That's Enough Healing For Today

POV: A Healing Girl's To-Do List ~ 

Read a self-help book, listen to a podcast, journal, meal prep, do daily affirmations, breath work, lift weights and do yoga and take 10k steps a day, drink herbal tea, take disgusting sea moss, eat more protein, sleep eight hours, drink water, have a social life but cut off toxic people, less screen time, date intentionally, do your nightly seven step skin care routine, go to therapy, hug your mom, and give your inner child attention. 

Holy. Crap. I did not sign up for all of this shit. Did you?! 

It is very apparent that a lot of people have entered their healing era and personal growth has taken on a new audience, as our time lines are flooded with endless tips and tricks on how to be healthier. And every single one of these tips we are seemingly expected to do while having to financially support ourselves in an economy that seems to have woken up one day and said, "Oh, Millennials and Gen Z? Fuck them."

And time for FUN? Forget it. 

So how in the hell does the Universe expect us to do all of this? Great question, thanks for asking. But, you see, the Universe doesn't expect you to do all those things, only you expect yourself to. 

Along the path of healing a lot of us forget that the point of it all is to hopefully create a more peaceful existence. 

Don't get me wrong, all of these to-do's are likely very good for us and I fully believe that "how you spend your days is how you spend your life," so in no way am I suggesting that you completely stop doing everything that is contributing to your health. 

What I am advocating for, however, is allowing for more room for flow, intuition, and fun.

Repeat after me ~ My life is not a to-do list and my existence is not defined by my habit tracker. 

Pleasure is not a bad word. Pleasure is what motivates us to do the mundane things. It's okay to reward yourself. It's okay to live. It's okay to not always be healing and learning and trying.

The point of our generations straying from capitalism and the rat race is to have more freedom from having to get so many things done, to escape this American idea of always needing to be doing something and working towards 'success'. But isn't that exactly what we're still doing? Constantly working on yourself is still WORK, it's literally in the phrase. 

Give yourself a damn break. Continue to "work on yourself" but try not to see yourself as something broken and unfinished that needs constant repairing. Choose a few things that call to you and you know contribute to your goals and stick to those: adjust accordingly as time goes on. Don't over complicate it (says the most complicated person I know.) You're trying your best and that is enough, and your best is constantly changing as well so you have to meet yourself where you are at. 

Do something joyful and a little illogical today, will ya? *although I take zero responsibility for the outcome*

What people don't talk about is how much joy you shed at the beginning of a spiritual awakening, and how you suddenly feel guilty for wanting to do anything that a 100% raw organic vegan hippie living in the middle of the jungle in Costa Rica wouldn't do. 

Everything suddenly turns "bad." Every beauty product you've ever used? Poison, and you're a moron for ever buying them. You still eat meat? How fucking dare you. Everyone whose energy is sub Buddha level? Disgusting and cut off immediately. 

Cool cool cool, sounds fun! So, what the hell are you left with? Nothing. You're left with actually nothing and no one but yourself. You are stripped. You are back at square one. But that is the point, THAT is the rebirth. You are consciously shedding what was unconscious in your life. Then, and ONLY then, are you granted the clarity that allows you to bring things back into your life that are solely your choice. And then you start to let go of these strong beliefs you clung onto so dearly. Meat? Might actually be good for you and there's a reason humans have eaten it since the start of our existence. Natural shampoo? Doesn't actually work for shit. All those friends you cut off? Maybe some of them aren't horrible humans and seeing them again could bring you joy. You need to remember to bring things back that fuel you. Don't leave yourself an empty void because you now feel guilt for giving back into modern society a bit. 

Everything in moderation and with intention.  

Your life doesn't have to make sense to anyone, including yourself. It doesn't have to be so logical all the time. Maybe don't be unhinged and do things without considering consequences, but sometimes the less sense something makes, the more intuitive it probably is which, in my opinion, is much wiser than logic.

REST. Have some FUN. Chill the hell out. Fuck what you see on TikTok and IG, find what works for you. 

When I feel overwhelmed with "adulting" (which actually isn't "adulting", what we probably mean is "being a slave to this country's form of capitalism and consumerism") I find myself literally yelling to the sky, "when the hell do I just LIVE?" Let me tell you, it doesn't happen once you have a stable job. It doesn't happen once you have the home and the money and the car and the vacations. 

It happens in the micro moments that are so small, if you don't slow the hell down to create them and notice them, you will miss them entirely. And those moments are your life. One of my favorite things I've ever written is;

"I see now - the 'big things' were really just all the little ones put together" 

xoxo tay